My date and I being together for over a-year. We love one another – but he has been mentioning the possibility of having sex together with other men. According to him he hasn’t been satisfied with the sexual life, but we told him i can not emotionally handle an open connection. However, the guy delivered it up an extra time.

Before considering an unbarred relationship, it is essential to know very well what – for him – is unsatisfying about sex between the couple. This should be talked about in a non-blaming way, so specific dilemmas is generally addressed and, ideally, repaired. Within some communities where available connections are fairly common, there is a propensity for most to opt for that instead of completely exploring intimacy within their main commitment. This is simply not for everybody, might result in a lot discomfort and disorder otherwise totally psychologically consensual for every.

There are numerous forms of “open relationships”, and negotiating policies and directions is very important. Like, would he inform you if they have sex with someone else? Is actually the guy thinking about several associates? Would a 3rd party visited your house or stay instantly? Every chance should be discussed.

But it is very different to own, “Hey, why don’t we have intercourse along with other folks enjoyment” proposed, than to have everything being offered, and is: “I’m disappointed with you, thus I desire gender in other places.” Not everyone would feel comfortable with that, and you certainly don’t need to accept it. Tune in very carefully to his ideas and feelings and then make a sensible decision.

Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a psychotherapist which specialises for intimate conditions